What The FAQ? - Answers From Stimp Gruzwyld

Stimp Gruzwyld - Shipping Guru For The Black Cat Shoppe

How do you ship packages?

Great question, computer! We ship across the United States using Priority Mail through the United States Postal Service.

What are your shipping rates?

Geez, that's a great follow up question. We have three shipping rate tiers;

Up to $19.49 is $7.00 shipping

$19.50 - $74.99 is $6.00 shipping

$75.00 plus is free shipping

When do items ship?

Whoa! A gotcha question. Well, most items ship 2-5 days from order date. If for any reason we can't ship in this time frame we will contact you via email. 

Why wouldn't you be able to ship in this time frame?

Man, who's asking these follow-up questions, Walter Cronkite? Well, Walter, we are a brick and mortar store, so sometimes we have items on back order. We also have different items in our Wilmington and New Bern stores, so it takes us a few days to put orders together. But this is rare and we will let you know ASAP

Are you married? I mean, you seem like a real catch

Goodness gracious, Walter. That's a personal question. But I do have a girlfriend. She lives in Canada.

Really?

Uh... yeah, of course. Her name is Walterina. Walterina lj#9+@pht (garbled). She lives in a hut outside Lac-aux Sables. She doesn't have a phone or I'd tell you to call her. Oh, and she only speaks French. And she's a swimsuit model. Really, really gorgeous. Seriously!