What The FAQ? - Answers From Stimp Gruzwyld, Accountant
How do you ship packages?
Great question, computer! We ship across the United States through the United States Postal Service either First Class or Priority Mail.
What are your shipping rates?
Geez, that's a great follow up question. We have two complex shipping rate tiers;
Up to $49.99 is $7.00 shipping
Over $50.00 is FREE!
Okay, maybe it's not that complex.
When do items ship?
Whoa! A gotcha question. Well, most items ship 2-5 days from order date. If for any reason we can't ship in this time frame we will contact you via email.
Why wouldn't you be able to ship in this time frame?
Man, who's asking these follow-up questions, Anderson Cooper? Well, Anderson, we are a brick and mortar store, so sometimes we have items on back order. We also have different items in our Wilmington and New Bern stores, so it takes us a few days to put orders together. But this is rare and we will let you know ASAP
Are you married? I mean, you seem like a real catch
Goodness gracious, Anderson, that's a personal question. But I do have a girlfriend. She lives in Canada.
Really?
Uh... yeah, of course. Her name is Walterina. Walterina lj#9+@pht (garbled). She lives in a hut outside Lac-aux Sables. She doesn't have a phone or I'd tell you to call her. Oh, and she only speaks French. And she's a swimsuit model. Really, really gorgeous. Seriously!